1 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:24,960 Your mom is loaded. 2 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,800 Stepmom. Hello? Is anyone home? 3 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,760 Unless your mom likes dark and quiet, I think she's out. 4 00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:36,400 Stepmom. I say we relax and wait for her to come home. She could be gone for 5 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,740 hours. Whatever. 6 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,540 Knowing her, she can be gone for weeks. 7 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,340 Even better. 8 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:43,920 Zach. 9 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,300 That's right. Say my name. 10 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,160 Asshole. Oh, talk dirty. 11 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,360 Love it. 12 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,200 Zach, are we going to do this whole dog and heeking again? 13 00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:55,640 Well, Mommy's away. Zachy will play. 14 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,300 I thought we got past the stage. 15 00:00:58,660 --> 00:00:59,660 What stage? 16 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:01,660 The humping my legs stage. 17 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:03,960 Oh, I haven't even gotten started yet. 18 00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:06,420 What if she comes home? 19 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:10,000 You said it yourself. 20 00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:12,300 She could be gone for hours. 21 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,760 Zach, this is weird. In my mom's place? 22 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,760 Stepmom. 23 00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,030 Mmm. 24 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,560 What's wrong? 25 00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:50,720 Nothing. It's just, ever since we got back together, it's been... Great. Yeah, 26 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,720 know. 27 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,280 Great and not great. 28 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,320 Like, sex has been constant, and it's like you need... Constant sex. Yeah, I 29 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,320 know. No. 30 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,400 Reaffirmation or reassurance. 31 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,040 Reaffirm what? 32 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,500 I don't even know what that is. 33 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:08,840 It's just constant, and I don't know if it's ever going to change. 34 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,480 Change? 35 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:12,960 Ah, change. 36 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,900 No problem, baby. I know something that's really going to change this up. 37 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,080 Where's your mom's kitchen? 38 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,080 Stepmom, and it's that way. Great. 39 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,320 Karen? 40 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:33,460 Mom! I mean, stepmom. Shit. 41 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,840 What are you doing here? 42 00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,900 Well, uh... 43 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,200 I wanted to introduce you to my new boyfriend, Zach. 44 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:46,040 Well, he's not really my new boyfriend. We broke up over spring break, but you 45 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,480 weren't home, so, uh... I can guess the rest. 46 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,460 And on my leather sofa. 47 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,620 I'm going to have to have that cleaned now. 48 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,520 Where is this Zach, anyway? 49 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,600 Hey, Karen, you said you wanted to change things up, so... 50 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:08,020 Oh. Oh, hi, Karen's mom. It's a pleasure to, 51 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,580 uh... Stepmom. 52 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,560 What exactly were you planning on doing with that egg whisk? 53 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:19,440 Oh, well, there's a thing in Cambodia where you... Karen, can I talk to you? 54 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,450 I'm sorry about Zach. He gets a little carried away. 55 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,130 Yeah, this isn't about Zach. 56 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,110 He's a really nice guy. 57 00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,410 Oh, I'm sure he is. 58 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:47,050 Despite the fact that he stole my jello, and I'm pretty sure what he was 59 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,590 planning on doing with that egg whisk was incredibly unhygienic. 60 00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:53,450 Oh, I'm sure he's lovely in his own way. 61 00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,810 But this is about you, me, and your father. 62 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:57,570 What about us? 63 00:07:58,430 --> 00:08:00,330 You've never been poor before, have you? 64 00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,010 Your father was already a wealthy man when you were born. 65 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,460 So? So you don't know what it's like. 66 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,920 I do. 67 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:12,500 Before I met your father. Before you stole him from my mother. Before that, I 68 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,419 was poor. 69 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:16,900 Collecting coupons, living off welfare, the whole nine yards. 70 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,060 And what does this have to do with me? 71 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,460 We're going to be poor again. 72 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,640 Your father's met somebody. 73 00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:41,940 Oh, good. 74 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,000 Not good. 75 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,660 Very bad. 76 00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:49,180 An ex -porn star named Mamrie Lane. 77 00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:57,480 She used her skills and assets to get herself wrapped around your father's 78 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,399 little pinky. 79 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,020 Well, he's never had the best taste. 80 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:07,100 She wants to marry him without a prenup and take him to the cleaners. 81 00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,370 And how do you know this? Because that's what she does. 82 00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:13,990 Mamrie Lane's the one that married that 85 -year -old billionaire. 83 00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:17,370 Well, she would have if he hadn't died walking to the altar. 84 00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:19,730 Oh, yeah, I remember reading about that. 85 00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:21,050 Mamrie Lane. 86 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:24,550 Look her up on the Internet if you want to see what your father sees in her. 87 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,030 Gross. No thanks. 88 00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,730 Too late. I already have. 89 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,480 Well, if you've been wondering how your father's been doing, this is what he's 90 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,480 been doing. 91 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,040 The infamous memory lane. 92 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:02,060 Why go down memory lane when memory lane will go down on you? 93 00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,420 It's your catchphrase. 94 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,120 It gets worse. 95 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,520 Those are like eighth and ninth wonders of the world. Well, if you like that 96 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,520 kind of thing. 97 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,240 Wait till she lies back. 98 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,540 You'll see the grand king. 99 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,630 I, uh... 100 00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:36,430 So we've got a few weeks until your father's money is gone. 101 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:41,370 Well, we'll have to get jobs. 102 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,330 Unless... Unless what? 103 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,950 Our only hope of not being poor is to find a rich man. 104 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:50,290 Well, I'm not like that. You've never had to be like that. 105 00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,430 So tell me, how do you really, really feel about Zach? 106 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,650 I mean, if you really love him, then work in two dead -end jobs. 107 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,700 will seem like a holiday. 108 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,240 Oh. And living in a rat -infested shoebox? 109 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,300 Well, that will feel like a mansion. 110 00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,140 And standing in line at the welfare office? 111 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,580 Well, that will be a grand adventure. 112 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,020 Oh. That is, if you really love him. 113 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,960 Oh. Karen, do you really, really love Zach? 114 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,180 No. No. 115 00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,520 Zach. No, he must have hurt us. 116 00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,600 Karen, I know this is hard. 117 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,320 Yeah, but I can't just let it end like this. 118 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,160 What, you've got a better way in mind? 119 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,200 To end this dead -end relationship? 120 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,380 This one -way ticket to the poorhouse? 121 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:02,760 Without hurting Zach? 122 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,400 Then you go right ahead. 123 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:10,240 You'll thank me, I promise. Thank you for what? For breaking his heart? For 124 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,300 getting you out of this predicament. Which is what? 125 00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,690 I'm enrolling you in school. 126 00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:17,170 What? 127 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,010 I'm the principal. In fact, I'm the entire faculty. 128 00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:24,190 Oh, okay. And what school is this? 129 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:26,030 Cougar College. 130 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:30,850 I am way too young to be a cougar. Sure, for now. 131 00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:34,590 Let's get you a head start. Think of it as extra credits. 132 00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,110 Where are we going? 133 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:37,510 To the hunting ground. 134 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,090 To the hunting ground, my dear. 135 00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,330 So now we wait for our prey. 136 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,130 And what does our prey look like? 137 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:05,390 Rich, bored, lonely, and horny. 138 00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:07,150 Great. 139 00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,550 If they're all four, then it's great. 140 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:18,250 Not those ones. 141 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,130 Never hunt them when they're in a pack. 142 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,960 We're looking for a man who's alone with only his wallet to keep him company. 143 00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,140 Oh, how romantic. 144 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,300 There he is, the prey. 145 00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:35,940 How do you know this? 146 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:37,460 Let's don't drive up. 147 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,500 Jaguar X5 Silver. 148 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,820 And look at those shoes. 149 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,780 He's obviously got money and nobody to spend it on. 150 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,160 So sad, all that money wasting away in his bank account. 151 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:55,140 And no one to love spending it. Yeah, you're breaking my heart. So tell me, 152 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,140 do you do now? 153 00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,100 Darling, so naive. 154 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,080 Now is when the cougar strikes. 155 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,080 Hi. 156 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,660 Hi. I don't mean to bother. No, don't bother. 157 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,520 If you were expecting someone. No, nobody. 158 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,840 Please. I'm James Milton III. 159 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,620 And can I ask, what do you do? 160 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,840 I'm in the swimming pool business. 161 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,000 Oh, really? I love swimming pools. 162 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,540 I mean, I love to get wet. 163 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,800 What can I get you? 164 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,580 Susan! Karen? 165 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,880 What are you doing here? I'm going to school. 166 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,440 What? 167 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,960 Don't wait up for me. 168 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,180 Well... Looks like school just got out for the day. 169 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:48,900 Wasn't that your stepmom? 170 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,160 No comment. 171 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,960 Anyway, what are you doing? What? It's been like five years since we've seen 172 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,440 each other. Yeah, since we were counselors at that camp together, right? 173 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,280 Lake. Man, that seemed like a lifetime ago. 174 00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:02,380 Yeah, you know, they closed that place then. 175 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,400 So what are you doing here? Weren't you traveling the world? That was your 176 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,400 dream, right? 177 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,118 Did that. 178 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,000 Turns out the world's round, so I ended up back here. How was it? 179 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:14,119 Oh, the trip out was amazing. 180 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,839 I met this really great guy while I was traveling through Mexico, Juan. 181 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,880 He was so wonderful, and we had so many great adventures together. 182 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,880 I've never felt so in love. 183 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,160 But then? 184 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:32,160 Then there was the trip back, and it was not so amazing, and Juan was not so 185 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,800 wonderful. Oh, no. We had a lot of mishaps, and... 186 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,580 I think I just fell out of love. 187 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,240 Oh, no. I'm sorry. 188 00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:42,600 I really thought he was going to be the one. 189 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,900 And it turned out he was just the one. 190 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,520 Yeah. So what happened to him? Oh, he works in the back. He washes dishes 191 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,220 Oh, cool. So are you guys friends at least? Oh, yeah. We'll be friends 192 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,060 Just not lovers. Not anymore. 193 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,660 So you're in the swimming pool business, huh? 194 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,120 Uh... 195 00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,320 And business is good? Oh, it's never been better. 196 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,480 How's your turnover? 197 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,880 Huge. I like the sound of that. 198 00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:23,320 Whoa, you don't waste any time, do you? Nope. 199 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,500 And that's how you got to the top of your business? 200 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,760 Yeah. Oh. 201 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:40,760 must be rich. 202 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,040 Stepmom. 203 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,480 Are you sure your mom won't mind us staying here? 204 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,320 Stepmom. And no, she won't mind. 205 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,780 She's too busy pulling her How to Marry a Millionaire bit. 206 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:54,260 Oh, well, we won't need to stay long, you know, just until we get our first 207 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:55,260 paycheck from the bar. 208 00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:57,600 Oh, no, stay as long as you guys like, really. 209 00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:01,560 I mean, that is, until we lose this place. 210 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:07,360 Lose it? Why would you lose it? Well, it's my father's place, and he's about 211 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,190 lose it. In fact, He's about to lose everything. 212 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,550 Why? 213 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,630 He's about to fall into the Grand Canyon. 214 00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:15,110 What? 215 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:19,050 No, there's this gold digger, and she's got her claws in him. 216 00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:22,310 He's going to marry her, and she's going to take everything he's got. 217 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:23,650 Oh, no. 218 00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:27,270 She's this ex -adult film star named Mamma Elaine. 219 00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:29,810 My stepmom showed me some of her work. 220 00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,190 Really? And what's she like? 221 00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:36,350 Well, she's never going to drown. I'll put it that way. 222 00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:38,350 She's absolutely amazing. 223 00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:40,850 What? Yeah. 224 00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:42,730 So I've seen a few movies. 225 00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:45,550 Guys, all the same. 226 00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:48,710 I think she's a great actress. I mean, she really gets into character. 227 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:50,449 Yeah, sure. 228 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,970 The next Meryl Streep of porn. 229 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:56,090 Except now, she's into a whole new type of acting. 230 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,390 Audience of one. My dad. 231 00:19:58,910 --> 00:19:59,910 Lucky man. 232 00:20:00,939 --> 00:20:04,720 Anyway, my stepmom is on the hunt for a new sugar daddy. That's why she brought 233 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,800 me to the bar the other night to show me the ropes. 234 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,820 Cougar college, she called it. 235 00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:13,000 Cougar? You're far too young to be a cougar. That's what I said. 236 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,460 I mean, give it ten years or so. 237 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,680 Twenty, like twenty years. 238 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:22,440 Anyway, so it looked like your stepmom was doing fine when she left the bar. 239 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,700 Yeah, she won't be back until the morning. 240 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:29,010 Thank you. 241 00:23:55,330 --> 00:23:57,670 Hey, I think your cell phone's on hold. 242 00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:12,510 Oh, uh, hello, sir. How are you? 243 00:24:12,970 --> 00:24:15,290 No, no, I've been away for a while. Uh, 244 00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:17,229 uh, today. 245 00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:19,990 You're coming back early. That's really great, sir. 246 00:24:20,730 --> 00:24:24,590 Um, no, no, I put, uh, I put fresh chlorine in it yesterday, sir. 247 00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:26,410 And I skimmed the leaves. Yeah. 248 00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:29,810 Right away, sir. Okay. No, I'll see you then, sir. 249 00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:31,630 All right. Good. Goodbye. 250 00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:35,590 Swimming pool business, huh? 251 00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:37,430 Yeah. Yeah. 252 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,120 I thought you owned a company that sells and installs them. 253 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,380 Yeah, I know. 254 00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:47,560 Yeah, but instead... I clean them. Yeah. 255 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,640 And this house belongs... It's my boss's. Yeah. 256 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,600 The clothes, the car. Yeah, they're his. 257 00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:56,940 Well, 258 00:24:58,060 --> 00:24:59,520 at least the sex was good. 259 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:03,460 You're not going to tell him, are you? 260 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,100 That I fell for it? Yeah, I don't think I'll mention it. 261 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:16,550 You know, I really thought that you were on Forbes magazine's top 500 riches 262 00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:17,550 list. 263 00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:20,530 Honey, I can't even afford to be on their mailing list. 264 00:25:21,670 --> 00:25:25,090 So let me guess. You need me to get out of here before your boss comes in? 265 00:25:25,550 --> 00:25:27,290 Actually, yeah. Yeah. I do. 266 00:25:29,310 --> 00:25:30,310 Okay. 267 00:25:33,610 --> 00:25:34,610 You're not mad? 268 00:25:34,710 --> 00:25:37,290 I'm mad. But I said the sex was good. 269 00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:39,390 And maybe I deserve it. 270 00:25:39,630 --> 00:25:42,800 Really? Well, I was using you because I thought that you were rich. 271 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,100 You know, maybe Karen's right. 272 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,040 Maybe I've got to grow up and face the music. 273 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:48,539 Who's Karen? 274 00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:49,960 My daughter. My stepdaughter. 275 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,280 Thanks, Karen. 276 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,360 Oh, that's good. 277 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,100 Oh, hey, how did it go? 278 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,440 Oh, don't ask. 279 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:27,380 So, did you get, uh... Are you having a party? 280 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,820 Oh, I invited them to stay. This is Susan, my friend from summer camp. 281 00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:34,940 And this is Juan, her traveling companion. 282 00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:39,240 Is that okay? I wanted to ask, but, you know, you were out. 283 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,160 Sure. 284 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,780 They can stay as long as we can stay. 285 00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:49,280 Mom seems a little upset. 286 00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:50,980 Stepmom. 287 00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:56,040 So, how does it feel? 288 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,020 Why don't you see for yourself? 289 00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:04,340 Hello. 290 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:08,800 Hi. 291 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,880 My name is Juan. 292 00:27:12,270 --> 00:27:13,270 Pleased to meet you. 293 00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,730 Um, would you like to go swim with us in the swimming pool? 294 00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:23,670 I do not want to hear the word swimming pool mentioned for a while. 295 00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:26,950 So, does this remind you of anything? 296 00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:30,410 Instead of a pool, it was Crystal Lake. 297 00:27:31,130 --> 00:27:33,930 Instead of our bathing suits, we were... Oh, yeah. 298 00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:36,930 Our beauty dipping adventure. Yeah. I remember. 299 00:27:37,330 --> 00:27:38,330 Oh, I never forgot. 300 00:27:38,830 --> 00:27:40,270 Or what happened afterwards. 301 00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:41,710 Back in the cabin. 302 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:43,670 Yeah, I remember. 303 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,030 Yeah. 304 00:27:45,850 --> 00:27:49,390 I've been thinking about us. The time we shared, you know? 305 00:27:49,990 --> 00:27:53,090 Yeah. We were young and experimenting. 306 00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:57,070 Yeah. Have you done any more experimenting with any other girls? 307 00:27:57,690 --> 00:27:59,850 Well, there was this one girl. 308 00:28:00,450 --> 00:28:02,850 Emmanuelle. Well, I thought that was her name. 309 00:28:03,210 --> 00:28:05,410 I also thought she was French. 310 00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:07,390 Oh, she sounds interesting. 311 00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:10,830 But was she as interesting as me? 312 00:28:14,270 --> 00:28:20,250 You know, I don't know if I'm really a, you know... A lesbian? 313 00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:23,030 Yeah, I was experimenting. 314 00:28:23,350 --> 00:28:28,650 Oh, I know. I was too, but maybe my experiment isn't over. 315 00:28:46,190 --> 00:28:47,190 I'm sorry I'm late. 316 00:28:47,470 --> 00:28:48,570 So what's the problem? 317 00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:52,030 Well, you're one of Karen's friends, right? I thought maybe you could help me 318 00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:55,850 out. Okay, so start at the beginning. Tell me what problem you have. 319 00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:57,230 I'm not rich. 320 00:28:58,090 --> 00:28:59,090 Huh? 321 00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:01,630 And, well, Karen's mom... Staff mom. 322 00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:05,910 Right. She wants Karen to be with someone who's rich because she doesn't 323 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:06,769 her to be poor. 324 00:29:06,770 --> 00:29:11,010 And she asked Karen if she loved me enough to work two jobs and be on 325 00:29:11,110 --> 00:29:12,110 and Karen said no. 326 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:14,170 Wow. So I was thinking, you're rich. 327 00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:17,250 Maybe you could help me to be rich, too. 328 00:29:17,710 --> 00:29:23,590 Ah, so you'd like me to make you rich like I am. 329 00:29:23,830 --> 00:29:24,830 Exactly. 330 00:29:25,010 --> 00:29:26,870 Would you like me to give you all my money? 331 00:29:27,110 --> 00:29:28,470 Oh, you'd do that for me? 332 00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:29,970 No. Oh. 333 00:29:33,110 --> 00:29:38,810 Well, maybe you could tell me your secrets. You know, like secret rich 334 00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:39,810 secrets? 335 00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:40,990 Like what? 336 00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:43,890 Well, like what's the best way to be rich? 337 00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:46,690 Well, there is the best way to be rich. 338 00:29:47,030 --> 00:29:51,110 Okay, well, what is it? The absolute best way is to be born into a rich 339 00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:53,790 You know, like a rich dad, rich mother. 340 00:29:54,350 --> 00:29:55,350 It's easy. 341 00:29:56,010 --> 00:29:57,010 Okay, 342 00:29:57,650 --> 00:29:58,950 well, what's the second best way? 343 00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:00,570 Well, you can invent something. 344 00:30:01,150 --> 00:30:05,150 You know, like those plastic tips on the end of shoelaces. 345 00:30:05,950 --> 00:30:06,950 Facebook. 346 00:30:07,190 --> 00:30:08,190 Personal calculator. 347 00:30:08,530 --> 00:30:10,810 Yeah, but those have already been invented, haven't they? 348 00:30:11,230 --> 00:30:13,720 Yeah. I was using those as an example. 349 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,760 Oh. So you have to invent something else. 350 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,320 Something new. 351 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,480 That would be about it. You know, something new. That's why they call it 352 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,080 invention. Oh. 353 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:26,680 Right. 354 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,700 Okay, what's the third best way? 355 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,000 You need to make quick money, right? Yeah, I do. 356 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,060 And there's nothing that you wouldn't do? 357 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:38,060 No, I wouldn't. All right, then you need to get into the cougar market. 358 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,160 The what? 359 00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:41,300 All right. 360 00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:45,700 I know my mother isn't into it, but some of her friends are. They pay huge money 361 00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:46,960 for company. 362 00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:50,100 Okay. What kind of a company? 363 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:53,460 They want sex. 364 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,120 All right? No strings attached. 365 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,399 Younger men. 366 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,700 They pay big money. 367 00:30:59,820 --> 00:31:00,820 Oh. 368 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,780 You said there was nothing you wouldn't do. 369 00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:05,220 Oh, I need money if I'm going to impress Karen. 370 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,680 Oh, fine. Just don't let her know where the money came from. 371 00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:11,200 And you can hook me up with one of these gigs? Yeah. 372 00:31:11,630 --> 00:31:15,070 I can give some of my mother's friends a call, and I'll hook you up. 373 00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:17,750 Cool. 374 00:31:18,470 --> 00:31:19,470 I think. 375 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,920 Oh, it still bothers you that your girlfriend... Ex -girlfriend. 376 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,740 Yeah, right, but it still bothers you. 377 00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:32,680 That she's with your daughter? 378 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,200 Stepdaughter. 379 00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:37,380 Right, well, as long as she's happy. 380 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,600 That is so unselfish of you. 381 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:42,900 That's funny you should say that. 382 00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:47,440 Halfway around our world trip together, she said that I was selfish. 383 00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:49,460 I'm sorry. 384 00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:54,310 Wow. What was that? 385 00:35:55,330 --> 00:35:57,690 A scream or was it... Orgasm. 386 00:35:57,910 --> 00:36:00,030 Well, let's hope so. If not, we should be calling 911. 387 00:36:01,350 --> 00:36:02,350 Yeah. 388 00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,370 What's wrong? You seem a little worried. 389 00:36:09,890 --> 00:36:12,330 I made a fool of myself last night. 390 00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:14,230 Oh, we've all done that. 391 00:36:14,850 --> 00:36:16,070 Yeah, I'll chase this man. 392 00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:20,130 I had all the wrong reasons and then it turned out to be the wrong guy. 393 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,120 I'm getting old. 394 00:36:24,820 --> 00:36:25,820 No. 395 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:28,440 Losing my touch. 396 00:36:28,860 --> 00:36:30,060 I doubt that. 397 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,640 Karen and I are going to lose everything. 398 00:36:36,220 --> 00:36:39,400 The money, the house, our security. 399 00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:41,060 Well, that's not everything. 400 00:36:42,580 --> 00:36:44,400 I'd say my self -respect. 401 00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:47,220 I lost that last night. 402 00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,510 So... Why are you going to lose everything? 403 00:36:53,050 --> 00:36:55,670 Mac's husband is Karen's stepfather. 404 00:36:56,610 --> 00:36:59,970 He's making the biggest mistake of his life. 405 00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:02,010 Ugh. 406 00:37:28,170 --> 00:37:29,730 Thank you. Thank you. 407 00:37:31,530 --> 00:37:35,110 Thank you. 408 00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:37,670 Thank you. 409 00:38:23,980 --> 00:38:24,980 Thank you. 410 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:40,210 Thank you. 411 00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:21,000 Why would you want to go down memory lane when memory lane can go down on 412 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,220 Are you going to say that every time? 413 00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:28,720 Well, yes. It's my catchphrase. 414 00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:55,780 Fine. 415 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,640 Well, I don't know. 416 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:04,340 We never really talked about that. The prenup. 417 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,620 No teeth. 418 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:08,880 No teeth. 419 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,380 Tom, I'm going to call you back. 420 00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:14,580 Okay. Bye. 421 00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:16,800 What'd you do that for? 422 00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:21,460 It's that word prenup. I hate it so much it makes my jaws clench up. 423 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,340 Well, I'm not going to say that again. 424 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,640 Well, it's better. Now let me go finish what I started. 425 00:42:30,700 --> 00:42:32,820 Actually, I'm good. 426 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,200 I'm okay. 427 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,100 Maybe a little ice. 428 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,680 I guess it's time to face the music. 429 00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:45,500 What music? 430 00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:49,980 All my life I've gotten what I wanted with my looks. 431 00:42:51,060 --> 00:42:52,820 But I guess they're fading now. 432 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,080 No. 433 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480 No way. 434 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,680 You're just the sweetest guy. 435 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,000 Sweetest. No. 436 00:43:00,220 --> 00:43:02,280 I just think you're beautiful. Really. 437 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:03,800 You're so sweet. 438 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,440 Nah. 439 00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:11,300 Sweet isn't life for you because I'm selfish. 440 00:43:12,220 --> 00:43:14,320 How are you selfish? 441 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,260 I see what I want and I go get it. 442 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,580 Even if you hurt someone? 443 00:43:24,669 --> 00:43:26,270 Yeah. This 444 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:33,410 is 445 00:43:33,410 --> 00:43:35,530 crazy. You're not even Ritz. 446 00:43:35,770 --> 00:43:38,310 Nope. And you're my daughter's name. 447 00:43:39,430 --> 00:43:40,430 Stepdaughter. 448 00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:43,150 Wow, that was quick. 449 00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:45,270 Yeah, they're busy down there. 450 00:47:46,410 --> 00:47:47,410 Poor Juan. 451 00:47:47,910 --> 00:47:50,890 You know, sometimes I think I was too harsh on him on our trip. 452 00:47:51,230 --> 00:47:56,130 Mm -hmm. I said he was selfish, but maybe he was just being honest and 453 00:47:56,130 --> 00:47:57,130 his nature. 454 00:47:57,150 --> 00:47:58,150 Mm -hmm. 455 00:47:58,190 --> 00:48:00,030 So what were they doing down there? 456 00:48:00,570 --> 00:48:04,550 Oh, nothing. You know, just following their nature. 457 00:48:05,070 --> 00:48:06,070 What? 458 00:48:06,430 --> 00:48:07,430 Your mom? 459 00:48:07,710 --> 00:48:08,710 Dad's mom. 460 00:48:09,310 --> 00:48:10,850 Yeah, but still. 461 00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:16,320 I was on my way to get a glass of water, but I didn't want to interrupt, so... I 462 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:17,860 mean, they are both single. 463 00:48:19,420 --> 00:48:20,580 Yeah, definitely. 464 00:48:21,820 --> 00:48:22,820 Wait a minute. 465 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,320 You're not jealous, are you? 466 00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:28,760 No. No, not at all. 467 00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:47,840 Well, you're not a selfish lover at all. 468 00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:52,100 Maybe you should mention that to Susan. Yeah, or not. 469 00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:54,460 Oh, or not. 470 00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:26,820 Wake up. Wake up. Come on. Get up. You've got to get moving. Get out of 471 00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,340 You've got to get up. Daddy's here. I know. 472 00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:32,900 Anybody home? 473 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,800 What are you doing? 474 00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:36,740 Covering your ass. 475 00:49:43,260 --> 00:49:44,440 What are you doing here? 476 00:49:45,220 --> 00:49:46,220 Daddy. 477 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:47,800 Daddy. 478 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:50,638 Who's that? 479 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:51,598 My friend. 480 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,600 My friend won. 481 00:49:52,940 --> 00:49:53,940 Special friend. 482 00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:55,620 Spare me the details. 483 00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,040 Back to my original question. What are you doing here? 484 00:49:58,260 --> 00:50:00,400 Oh, you mean in the house that I still own? 485 00:50:01,940 --> 00:50:04,060 Yes. I need to talk to you. 486 00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:06,640 Fine. Let's talk. 487 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,040 Outside. 488 00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,400 I know. 489 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,320 Exactly what I was thinking. 490 00:50:19,790 --> 00:50:21,970 I don't know if you know it or not, but I'm in a relationship. 491 00:50:22,810 --> 00:50:23,810 Do you want to call it that? 492 00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,050 With a wonderful woman. With a colorful past. 493 00:50:27,570 --> 00:50:29,430 As a respected actress. 494 00:50:33,310 --> 00:50:34,310 Oh, yeah, sorry. 495 00:50:34,830 --> 00:50:35,830 Respected, yes. 496 00:50:47,150 --> 00:50:50,050 So things have progressed, and I... You're getting married. 497 00:50:51,190 --> 00:50:52,190 Yes. 498 00:50:53,130 --> 00:50:54,130 Congratulations. 499 00:50:55,090 --> 00:50:57,670 Thank you. And you'll be needing to sell this house. 500 00:50:58,010 --> 00:51:01,230 To keep her in the lifestyle and the manner she's accustomed to? 501 00:51:01,610 --> 00:51:04,450 Yeah. Because bras that big cost a lot of money. 502 00:51:05,190 --> 00:51:06,690 No need to be that way. 503 00:51:07,550 --> 00:51:08,550 Sorry. 504 00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:11,910 How long do we have? 505 00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:14,210 We're getting married at the end of the month. 506 00:51:15,170 --> 00:51:16,170 Wow. 507 00:51:16,799 --> 00:51:18,280 I'm sorry it had to be this way. 508 00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:22,180 Are you happy? 509 00:51:26,140 --> 00:51:27,680 Yes. Does she love you? 510 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,320 Yes. Yeah, but does he love you for you and not just your money? 511 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,200 Yes. 512 00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:39,900 That whole 90 -year -old billionaire thing was a long time ago. 513 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:42,200 She's changed. 514 00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:46,330 Good. Besides, most of that was bad reporting in the media anyway. 515 00:51:46,550 --> 00:51:48,890 I can see how that can be misconstrued. 516 00:51:49,590 --> 00:51:50,590 Exactly. 517 00:51:53,810 --> 00:51:57,430 Well then, if you love her and she loves you... Yes. 518 00:51:58,250 --> 00:51:59,470 I'm happy for you. 519 00:52:01,030 --> 00:52:02,190 Would you like to meet her? 520 00:52:03,050 --> 00:52:04,710 I feel like I already have. 521 00:52:06,170 --> 00:52:08,890 The Internet, it's a great new invention. 522 00:52:11,450 --> 00:52:12,850 Right. Well... 523 00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:15,650 She's going to be in town tonight. I can't make it. 524 00:52:15,910 --> 00:52:17,830 She'll be having dinner and drinks at the bar. 525 00:52:18,470 --> 00:52:20,110 I'm sure she would love some company. 526 00:52:21,390 --> 00:52:22,390 Oh, great. 527 00:52:22,830 --> 00:52:26,650 She's dying to meet you, so pop on by if you have a chance. 528 00:52:36,950 --> 00:52:39,510 Daddy, is it true that you are... Yes. 529 00:52:40,050 --> 00:52:41,650 The wedding is at the end of the month. 530 00:52:43,340 --> 00:52:45,240 And I would like for you to be the maid of honor. 531 00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:47,760 Oh, wow. 532 00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:52,200 Okay. She's going to be at the bar tonight, so that gives us the perfect 533 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,840 opportunity to meet her. 534 00:52:54,100 --> 00:52:55,540 Really? Cool. 535 00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:57,140 Go back to sleep. 536 00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:01,040 Well, I better be going. I need to see a realtor about putting this place back 537 00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:02,040 on the market. 538 00:53:02,660 --> 00:53:03,660 Terrific. 539 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,060 I'm sorry that this is so sudden for you two. 540 00:53:18,060 --> 00:53:19,980 Hey, who are we to stand in the way of true love? 541 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,280 That's really nice of you. 542 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,340 You surprise me sometimes. 543 00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:25,900 Is that right? 544 00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:32,080 You know, I can't help but think if we could have just maybe made it work. 545 00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:34,420 Maybe we still can. 546 00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,180 I'm getting married at the end of the month. 547 00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:42,500 Right. I'm the happiest man in the world. I hope to see you two at my big 548 00:53:43,340 --> 00:53:44,340 You too. 549 00:53:45,020 --> 00:53:46,220 Whatever your name is. 550 00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:47,600 Juan, please. 551 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,200 Right. 552 00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:57,320 Okay, we have a chance to save your father from making the biggest mistake 553 00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:58,320 his life. 554 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,980 And how are we going to do that? How bad do you all want to meet Mamrie Lane? 555 00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:07,880 This is local. This is crazy. 556 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,160 This is insane. 557 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:10,940 I'm not even a good actor. 558 00:54:11,180 --> 00:54:12,780 Neither are you. You've seen her movies. 559 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:19,860 Oh, we need something for his head. 560 00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:21,760 We could use a cloth from the kitchen. 561 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:22,638 A cloth? 562 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,640 Really? 563 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,360 I know this is weird, and it's not going to be easy. 564 00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,400 It's a long shot, but it is the only shot we've got. 565 00:54:31,860 --> 00:54:34,260 We need your help. Please help us. 566 00:54:36,700 --> 00:54:37,700 Okay. 567 00:54:38,090 --> 00:54:39,990 What was I supposed to say my father's name was again? 568 00:54:48,330 --> 00:54:53,110 You know, I was pretty surprised when Marjorie called me. Marjorie? 569 00:54:53,610 --> 00:54:57,150 Yeah, she was the one that originally hired you. 570 00:54:57,470 --> 00:55:01,930 But her husband gave himself a hernia lifting the lawnmower in the garage. 571 00:55:02,630 --> 00:55:03,910 So she had to cancel. 572 00:55:04,230 --> 00:55:05,230 Oh. 573 00:55:05,530 --> 00:55:09,710 But... Lucky for me, my husband is away on business all the time. 574 00:55:10,610 --> 00:55:12,830 So... Right. 575 00:55:13,910 --> 00:55:14,910 Right. 576 00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:17,010 You seem a little nervous. 577 00:55:17,410 --> 00:55:19,870 Oh, I've never done this before. 578 00:55:20,630 --> 00:55:21,690 You're a virgin? 579 00:55:21,990 --> 00:55:24,750 No, no. I'm just not on a professional basis. 580 00:55:25,270 --> 00:55:29,710 Oh. Well, honey, there's nothing to worry about. 581 00:55:30,370 --> 00:55:35,110 You see, you get paid, you get laid. It's the easiest job in the world. 582 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,600 Easiest job in the world. Yeah, I tell you what. 583 00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:41,760 I'll lead. You follow. 584 00:55:42,780 --> 00:55:43,780 Okay. 585 00:56:30,629 --> 00:56:33,430 Thank you. 586 00:57:26,020 --> 00:57:28,820 Thank you. 587 00:57:44,819 --> 00:57:46,220 Oh! 588 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,000 Oh! 589 00:57:53,540 --> 00:57:54,540 Oh! 590 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,200 I'll see you then. 591 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,100 Excuse me. Are you Mamrie Lane? 592 00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:17,740 I sure am. Oh, I'm a big fan. 593 00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:19,360 Can I get your autograph? 594 00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,820 Sure. Do you have something I could write it on? Oh, no. 595 00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:26,280 Maybe we could use a napkin or something over there. 596 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,200 Oh, that tickles. 597 00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,640 Thank you. You're welcome. 598 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,200 Oh, wow. 599 00:59:36,100 --> 00:59:40,400 That is the firstborn son of the Sultan of Brunei. 600 00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,400 The Sultan of Brunei? 601 00:59:43,220 --> 00:59:47,100 The Sultan of Brunei. He's the richest man in the world. 602 00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:50,760 Look, everyone is staring at him. They cannot believe he's here. 603 00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:55,660 He owns, like, all of the oil fields in the Middle East. 604 00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,600 Oil groves and fields? 605 01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:03,980 The Sultan is very old, like 102. 606 01:00:04,460 --> 01:00:08,560 And when he dies, his firstborn son inherits everything. 607 01:00:10,590 --> 01:00:11,590 Everything? 608 01:00:12,390 --> 01:00:13,710 How much is that? 609 01:00:14,090 --> 01:00:16,730 One hundred trillion dollars. 610 01:00:17,910 --> 01:00:21,010 That sounds like a lot. Oh, it's a lot. 611 01:00:21,590 --> 01:00:26,050 I'd try my luck, but I hear he only likes women with large personalities. 612 01:00:28,110 --> 01:00:29,570 I've got large personalities. 613 01:00:29,790 --> 01:00:35,430 Yeah, but I heard you were already engaged, so... No, no, not anymore. 614 01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:39,130 Well, I heard you were in love with a really great guy. 615 01:00:39,790 --> 01:00:43,770 Well, he's nice and he's got money and he treats me well. 616 01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:48,430 Oh, good. You're fine then. You don't need to go chasing after rich men. Not 617 01:00:48,430 --> 01:00:50,950 even the firstborn son of the Sultan of Brunei. 618 01:00:51,710 --> 01:00:57,090 Wait a minute now. I just said that he's nice and he's got money, but he sure 619 01:00:57,090 --> 01:01:03,270 ain't the saltine of the son of that guy that owns all those oil fields in the 620 01:01:03,270 --> 01:01:05,370 middle of Earth or wherever he used to head. 621 01:01:05,570 --> 01:01:08,370 Yeah, but if it's true love... 622 01:01:09,390 --> 01:01:10,850 Honey, there's no such thing. 623 01:01:11,990 --> 01:01:13,050 Excuse me. 624 01:01:19,430 --> 01:01:20,950 Well, she went for it. 625 01:01:21,150 --> 01:01:22,190 You think she bought it? 626 01:01:22,810 --> 01:01:24,930 Honey, I've had goldfish that were smarter. 627 01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:28,350 Hi. Hi. 628 01:01:28,970 --> 01:01:35,210 Are you really the son of that man that owns all them fields of oil in, um, 629 01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:37,590 Brune... Brunswick? 630 01:01:37,830 --> 01:01:38,830 Yeah, I am. 631 01:01:39,290 --> 01:01:42,370 I mean, my father is the sole attendant. 632 01:01:43,630 --> 01:01:45,810 Well, I'm very glad to meet you. 633 01:01:47,170 --> 01:01:49,150 The eagle has landed. 634 01:01:50,130 --> 01:01:52,470 If boobs were brains, she'd be a genius. 635 01:01:53,230 --> 01:01:54,790 Lucky for us, she's not. 636 01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:58,130 Now, can Juan get us to phase two? 637 01:01:58,750 --> 01:02:02,010 He better, because that hotel room costs us most of the money we have left. 638 01:02:04,550 --> 01:02:06,330 So, what do we do now? 639 01:02:06,530 --> 01:02:07,670 Do we cuddle? 640 01:02:07,970 --> 01:02:08,970 Do we talk? 641 01:02:09,850 --> 01:02:11,270 Now you leave. 642 01:02:12,370 --> 01:02:13,370 Just like that? 643 01:02:14,630 --> 01:02:17,730 Don't you get it? I'm not actually paying you for sex. 644 01:02:21,230 --> 01:02:22,630 I'm paying you to leave. 645 01:02:27,210 --> 01:02:28,410 Oh, come on. 646 01:02:29,370 --> 01:02:30,370 What's wrong? 647 01:02:30,410 --> 01:02:35,510 I mean, you did just fine, considering it was your first time. I don't know. I 648 01:02:35,510 --> 01:02:39,320 just didn't think it'd be like this. I didn't think it'd be so... Cold. 649 01:02:39,980 --> 01:02:42,640 I don't mean to be cold. I'm just being honest. 650 01:02:43,900 --> 01:02:45,720 Well, Randall didn't say it'd be like this. 651 01:02:46,180 --> 01:02:47,180 Wait a minute. 652 01:02:47,220 --> 01:02:48,220 You know Randall? 653 01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:52,480 Yeah. He's a friend of mine, or friend of Karen's. He set me up with the job. 654 01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:54,920 Randall set you up with this? 655 01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:57,240 Oh, no. 656 01:02:58,540 --> 01:03:01,440 He called Marjorie, and Marjorie canceled, and she called me. 657 01:03:01,940 --> 01:03:03,040 Oh, no. 658 01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,360 What? 659 01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:08,670 He didn't tell me that he knew about this, about what Marjorie does. 660 01:03:09,590 --> 01:03:10,590 Okay. 661 01:03:11,070 --> 01:03:12,090 What's the problem? 662 01:03:12,550 --> 01:03:13,710 Randall is my son. 663 01:03:15,410 --> 01:03:16,410 Okay, you know what? 664 01:03:18,270 --> 01:03:22,010 You can't, you cannot tell him about this. You cannot tell him. This is our 665 01:03:22,010 --> 01:03:23,290 secret. Oh, of course, yeah. 666 01:03:23,610 --> 01:03:25,690 Here, just take this. 667 01:03:26,310 --> 01:03:28,050 This is our secret, okay? 668 01:03:28,350 --> 01:03:30,270 Oh, believe me, I won't tell him. 669 01:03:30,770 --> 01:03:31,910 Okay, you need to go. 670 01:03:32,590 --> 01:03:33,590 Okay. 671 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,000 I cried out loud. 672 01:03:54,060 --> 01:03:56,180 Dang. I think my father has it. 673 01:04:03,020 --> 01:04:04,020 Karen! 674 01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:15,840 Was that guy wearing your mom's curtains? 675 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:17,600 It's a long story. 676 01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:19,500 And was that a towel on his head? 677 01:04:23,799 --> 01:04:25,040 That's my friend, Juan. 678 01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:28,360 Why does he look like Lawrence of Arabia's gay younger brother? 679 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:30,120 Again, it's a long story. 680 01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,540 What are you doing here? 681 01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:33,000 It's a long story. 682 01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:34,880 Well, that's a nice suit. 683 01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,560 Yeah, Randall lent it to me. 684 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,960 Oh, I didn't even know that you and Randall knew each other. 685 01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,020 Well, turns out I know his mom. 686 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,600 Is he a real sultan? 687 01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:49,740 Yeah. Have you ever been with an American girl before? 688 01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:50,960 No. Oh. 689 01:04:52,420 --> 01:04:54,060 This is going to be your first time. 690 01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:55,920 Yeah? Okay. 691 01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:05,300 Tell me something. 692 01:05:06,100 --> 01:05:07,100 Huh? 693 01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:09,100 Yeah? You ready? 694 01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,078 Oh, yeah? 695 01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:12,900 Yeah. You ready for some action? 696 01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,520 Yeah. Yeah? 697 01:05:14,740 --> 01:05:20,200 Yeah. Why are you here? And don't tell me it's just a long story. 698 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:25,100 Okay. So my father is about to marry ex -porn star Mamrie Lane, who's a gold 699 01:05:25,100 --> 01:05:28,320 digger, and she's going to take him for every penny he's got, which will mean 700 01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:33,040 that me and my stepmother will be poor, which is why I stupidly panicked and 701 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:36,800 told you that I didn't love you when I probably do. And now we're out to prove 702 01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:40,460 that Mamrie Lane is a heartless gold digger and stop my dad from making the 703 01:05:40,460 --> 01:05:41,500 biggest mistake of his life. 704 01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:47,540 My friend Juan is pretending to be the son of the Sultan of Brunei, and we're 705 01:05:47,540 --> 01:05:48,900 going to get pictures of them together. 706 01:05:49,420 --> 01:05:52,940 And then my father will realize how much of a fool he's been. And then 707 01:05:52,940 --> 01:05:54,300 everything will be back to the way it was. 708 01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,060 Okay, that was a long story. 709 01:06:49,460 --> 01:06:50,820 Oh, God. 710 01:06:51,260 --> 01:06:54,180 Oh, God. I mean, Frisella. 711 01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:55,760 Who? Yeah. 712 01:07:22,290 --> 01:07:25,090 Thank you. 713 01:07:39,370 --> 01:07:40,690 The camera's not working. 714 01:07:40,990 --> 01:07:42,670 Yeah, well, that's my boyfriend in there. 715 01:07:43,770 --> 01:07:45,130 So, why are you here? 716 01:07:45,390 --> 01:07:48,430 Well, I was trying to make money because I want to get you back. 717 01:07:49,810 --> 01:07:51,690 Oh, Zach, that's so sweet. 718 01:07:52,810 --> 01:07:56,250 Well, I didn't tell you how I was making money. 719 01:07:56,970 --> 01:08:00,770 That doesn't even matter. After I treated you like such a bitch, I'm 720 01:08:00,770 --> 01:08:03,010 you'd even want to be back with me. 721 01:08:03,770 --> 01:08:04,770 Okay. 722 01:09:07,050 --> 01:09:08,050 Hi. 723 01:09:12,890 --> 01:09:15,229 Gotcha. Are you a fan? 724 01:09:27,570 --> 01:09:28,570 Yeah, wow. 725 01:09:28,790 --> 01:09:31,710 It's the only word that comes to mind when you see her naked. 726 01:09:32,670 --> 01:09:33,670 Wow. 727 01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:40,029 Well, I guess you saved me from making a pretty terrible mistake. 728 01:09:40,490 --> 01:09:41,970 Now, what's the next wife for? 729 01:09:44,330 --> 01:09:46,170 It's been a strange few days. 730 01:09:46,470 --> 01:09:47,470 Tell me about it. 731 01:09:47,630 --> 01:09:49,850 Just don't tell Randall about it. 732 01:09:50,229 --> 01:09:54,850 I've done a lot of growing up. I mean, watching people trade love for money, 733 01:09:54,970 --> 01:09:56,310 it's just not right. 734 01:09:57,070 --> 01:10:00,250 At the end of the day, you just got to follow your heart. 735 01:10:01,230 --> 01:10:02,430 Where's your heart leading you? 736 01:10:03,290 --> 01:10:04,750 To bed with you. 737 01:10:08,030 --> 01:10:14,890 You know, seeing you help last night and 738 01:10:14,890 --> 01:10:18,790 really put yourself on the line, I think you proved to me that you're not so 739 01:10:18,790 --> 01:10:19,970 selfish after all. 740 01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:23,250 Did you see those things I could have suffocated? 741 01:10:24,270 --> 01:10:26,290 I'll make you forget all about her. 742 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:27,880 That is. 743 01:11:21,580 --> 01:11:22,580 Thank you. 744 01:12:44,940 --> 01:12:46,860 Bye. Bye. 745 01:12:48,100 --> 01:12:49,500 Bye. 746 01:13:58,390 --> 01:13:59,510 Love is in the air. 747 01:14:00,010 --> 01:14:01,010 Yeah. 748 01:14:10,470 --> 01:14:15,570 Give it some time. See what happens. Exactly. 749 01:14:58,220 --> 01:14:59,220 Is that season one? 750 01:14:59,740 --> 01:15:00,740 Wow. 751 01:15:01,340 --> 01:15:03,880 And I thought we were making double the usual noise. 752 01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,940 What? I guess that kind of passion's for the young, really. 753 01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:52,260 Mm -hmm. 754 01:18:52,380 --> 01:18:53,840 I mean, we're older now. 755 01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:55,360 Mm -hmm. 756 01:18:55,440 --> 01:19:00,020 Yeah. A little wiser. You know, we don't have to give in to those kind of 757 01:19:00,020 --> 01:19:01,020 passions anymore. 758 01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:02,079 Mm -hmm. 759 01:19:02,080 --> 01:19:04,320 Right. Wisdom of age, really. 760 01:19:07,820 --> 01:19:09,970 Yeah. Talks me into it. 761 01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:43,960 Thank you.